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Creating Habits in Children

May 20, 2020 /

My kids don’t like to hike! My kids won’t play outside! My kids never play board games! Many a time, I have heard parents make that statement about their children when I share what we do. Yes, my children do grumble sometimes when I announce a hike or they whine when I tell them that it is time to play outside. They do not always jump at the chance to play board games with me. However they usually do all of these things and they enjoy them. How have we arrived at that point? By creating habits and expectations.

Start Young!

Do not wait till your children are 5 or 6 to go on hikes. You can carry your baby who cannot walk on your back until they reach an age when they can walk on their own. My 2 year old (he will be 3 in October) can usually hike a couple of miles without being carried. If it is a streneous hike (with hill and rocky path), I typically will bring my carrier to give him the option to walk or be carried. Depending on his mood he will choose one or the other but many times, I do not give him the option and he will enjoy the freedom of walking. Yes, it slows down our pace, but we are out there to enjoy nature.

Be Consistent

This is what I consider the magic tool: consistency! While I have not been as good with being consistent with my toddler (he’s the baby of the family) and that inconsistency in discipline has resulted in more tantrums than his brothers, consistency is the key to creating habits in children. In my years of teaching, consistency was key in creating a positive classroom environment and in having less discipline issues in class. The same applies to your family. Children strive on routines and knowing what to expect. My children know that I expect them to play outside every day several times a day so they will ask me how long they have to play outside if they are not in the mood. Sometimes, they are excited about that outside time, sometimes they are tired and a bit cranky about the thought of going outside. However, they know that I expect them to go outside every day and will typically end up really enjoying it. Lately, they have been suggesting hiking destinations since they know that I like to hike about twice a week.

Make It Fun

Who wants to go outside and play if there is nothing to play with? My boys have bikes and scooters as well as other outside toys. If you cannot buy new, look on your Facebook marketplace, thrift store or ask in your neighborhood. We have bought and sold bikes on Facebook marketplace as well as in our neighborhood. You can find great deals for slightly used toys. I also usually try to have bubbles and chalk on hand for my youngest and we have a variety of balls. Balls and outside small toys are always great suggestions for birthday or Christmas gifts.  They are toys that do not have a shelf life and that kids will come back to over and over again. I bought the boys water guns at Christmas because they were on clearance then and now they are able to enjoy them. The boys will sometimes bring their indoor toys out to play like they did this past week by bringing their matchbox cars out to race down the driveway. My teen will usually ride his bike or jump on the trampoline.

Participate

My teenager of course is not going to be interested in bubbles and chalk. So I will often throw the football or frisbee with him. When I encourage the boys to play board games, they often want me to participate. If it is during the day, they will typically play games together but in the evening, I normally will play with them. Modeling what you expect of them encourages them and having mommy play does make it more fun. We try to have a game night a week where we have fun snacks or a longer playtime period but will have some impromptu times when I will play with them.

Limit Device Time

The root of all evils! I am joking however I think that it is very necessary to be careful with the amount of time your children spend on their electronic devices. I have written a post about this but wanted to remind parents that we need to be aware of how much time our children spend hooked on their computers, Ipads, tablets and game systems. Yes, my children have tablets, an old Wii game system and they do watch television. However, I try to make sure to limit their time doing these activities. Device time is definitely longer now that we are done with school work and probably also since the beginning of lockdown. I limit their device time to the baby’s nap and try to be careful with the amount of tv they watch. It is so easy for me to turn the television on for my youngests and I need to be aware of the time they spend in front of it. That is another reason for consistent outside time, to balance their indoor and outdoor time, their activity and inactivity.

Start Small

If your children are older and you want to create some of these habits, start small. Do not start with a daily hike or a super long period of outside play. Take baby steps and make it interesting. Let them chose the destination of a walk, give them a camera to take pictures, create outside games that you will know they will enjoy. With summer upon us, you can have fun water play or figure out a ball game that they enjoy. To create these habits, you will most likely have to participate and encourage. Your children and teens are not going to be entertained all of a sudden if these activities are not routine and habits for them. Remember, you will have successful days where everyone has fun as well as days where you are frustrated with their desire to be couch potatoes attached to their devices!

A bientôt!

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